I think it's a given that I'm not good at blogging. I do frequently have a lot I could write about but never have either the energy or time to blog. However, now I do have a lot more free time and I do have a lot I would like to talk about so I'm actually going to blog and not just say I am. We'll see how this goes.
I have more free time because in less than three weeks I'm going to be graduating from high school. It's really strange to think about. I don't even feel 18 years old. I always thought that as you get older you start to feel more mature and grown up, but I still feel like a kid. A lot of adults say you don't really feel like an adult until you get into your mid-twenties though. That makes sense because college still isn't the "real world", but I still feel like I should feel older right now. I guess I'll feel a little more 18 once I'm actually on my own in college.
Speaking of college, most people I know are going in-state, primarily because it's cheaper. I would be too but I got a really amazing opportunity at the University of Minnesota so I'm going there. I was accepted into the College of Biological Sciences, which is the hardest college to get into. I actually didn't know that at first and was shocked when I found out. I've been interested in the sciences for awhile, specifically neuroscience, so going to this school would be really great for me! It also has a great medical program so that'll be good for me to see if I want to go in that direction. But, I'm always a bit apprehensive to tell people I'm going to college in Minnesota. Since, it's a Midwestern state and many people think there's nothing in the Midwest and the only thing that stands out is that it's "soooo cold". Or they'd say "that's so far away!" and not say any "congratulations" or anything like that. I know because I live in Florida there are people that will react that way, but it still bothers me. The thing is, if I said I was going to a school in New York or Massachusetts or Pennsylvania, I don't think a lot of people will comment so much about it being cold even though those states are pretty cold in the winter too. It just frustrates me that "being cold" is the only trait of Minnesota. And I didn't even choose the university because of the state, I chose it because I thought it'd be a good school. Fortunately, many people I've talked to were more congratulatory than judgemental, which is how everyone should be when someone tells you what college they're going to.
Even though high school is almost over, college is still very far away. There's so much I need to do in these next few months and not all of it is related to college. This'll be a long summer, but I'm glad it will be. I won't waste the little time I have left with some of my friends. There's so many changes going on right now and friends are one of them. There's many people I won't see and won't talk to very much after high school. And pretty much all of my closer friends in Florida are going to different colleges so it's going to be weird not seeing them so much anymore. I'm definitely going to miss my friends from high school and theater and creative writing club and even some teachers. I am a bit sad for the change and I know friendships will fade, but I'm also excited to get a new start and finally be in a good academic environment. Even though passing is important, learning is far more important in college. I wish it were like that in high school.
I'm also glad to get a new start for my self. Throughout high school I've subconsciously been trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be. I have a much better idea now than I did 3 years ago. But, I guess I've always known what kind of person I want to be, but now I actually know how to do it. I suppose people keep changing all throughout their life though. People are influenced by their surroundings and those around them and that can shape them differently. So, I know I'm not going to stay the same, but I still can be my "ideal" self. Although, I won't expect things to go perfectly and I can't expect myself to be perfect or exactly what my ideal is. Nothing good comes from forcing that weight on you.
So, it was a long post today. I think a lot of my posts will be long. This is what I meant by "I have a lot to say". This is good though, it's better to write down thoughts rather than let them be forgotten in your mind.
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